The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam’s rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world.

The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession.

The RPG programmer leaned back in his chair, and with a sly smile responded, “Yes, but who do you think created the chaos?”

Rochester, MN - In order to better compete with the growing competition from PC Windows Servers, IBM plans to install a reset button on the newly announced Power Systems and change all IBM i operating system error message text to read “General Protection Fault – Press RESET.”

This new feature will give IBM customers the ability to compete head-to-head with Microsoft Windows servers.

There is additional talk of adding another feature that will randomly cause the system to restart or lockup for no apparent reason. Because of the stable nature of the IBM i operating system it will be difficult to quickly implement this feature and therefore will have to come at a later date.

However, with features like these it will give customers no reason to move to Wintel servers.

Earlier versions of this reset button included infamous the CTRL/Alt/Delete safety selection whose concept was stolen by another companies undercover mole.

(Note: The AS/400 Geek originally wrote this piece as an April Fools joke in April of 1997 for a local AS/400 user group newsletter. Notice how close this humorous article has become reality. The text is exactly as published in 1997.)

When IBM recently announced that it was moving its Austin, Texas-based RS/6000 assembly operations to its 3.7 million square foot facility in Rochester, Minnesota, the same production line the AS/400 is built on, rumors flew about what this move meant. IBM publicly denied any convergence of the two machines and that the move was simply to consolidate manufacturing. But sources inside Rochester have confirmed there are AS/6000 machines running inside the IBM lab with the intent to produce them in the near future.

Because of recent advances in technology with the AS/400 and RS/6000, they both have PowerPC RISC processors and share the same DASD and tape subsystems. It finally became evident that the only difference between the two machines was the operating system.

Dear AS/400 Geek,

The percent of used disk space on my iSeries keeps creeping higher and higher. Is there a simple way I can clean up my disk drives to reduce this percent?

A: Yes, the system has a very simple command that will significantly reduce the amount of disk storage used. An example of the command is:

CLRLIB LIB(*ALL)

This command may take a while to process but gives you a real bang for the buck. It will free up a great deal of storage space on your system’s hard drives. Have a nice day!

Who was the AS/400 Geek?

I’m afraid you won’t find out much about him here. Because of the controversial nature of this web site, his identity must remain secret. He is currently an IT department manager for a $50 million corporation. He has been in this business from the beginning, having programmed on the IBM System/34 and System/38. He was there on June 21st, 1988 at the IBM announcement meeting of the new Application System 400, or as it is best known, the AS/400. He has written a gazillion lines of RPG code and interfaced the AS/400 with every device known to man. He has watched the AS/400 go from a machine the size of two refrigerators (Model B30) to a machine the size of a large PC (Model 520) and do ten times the work. He has watched IBM foolishly play with the sacred name of the AS/400 calling it everything from the iSeries, System i, i5, and now simply “i”. It always was the AS/400 to him and always will be. And even though he likes to poke fun of the IBM Midrange world, deep down he knows that the AS/400 was and still is the best machine on the planet!

So, what happened to him?

This weekend I upgraded an old Turnover 5.4 Change Management installation to the newer V100 version across several LPAR's of a customers IBMi intallation.

As part of the mission to tidy up the Software Change process – I see a lot of objects that are routinely created with various parameters being over-ridden because the defaults don’t fit my customers software development model. Now, the problem with this is that a standard is set and then followed, sometimes blindly, for years. Obviously, any step in a compilation where the programmer has to remember to over-ride the default creation parms is time consuming and error prone.

So, wonder why IBM havent changed the defaults for these commands since the good old AS/400 days:

Could we use CHGCMDDFT to set the following parameters as new defaults:

CRTSRCPF RCDLEN(132)

Increase from old RPG3 standard 92 rcdlen, thru RPGLE standard of 112 to new RPG4/Free standard of 132

CRTPF SIZE(1000000 10000 10) REUSEDLT(*YES)

This size is routinely overridden to *NOMAX (not a good idea) so setting a more realistic default size might be appropriate? 1m records?          

I've been fascinated by the Rubiks cube since it defeated me, repeatedly, during my youth.

Bloody confusing thing and I refused to read all the books on how to solve it. This was decades before Youtube and the video guides on how to solve it.

But... bloody hell.... new technology has kicked us humans up the bum. LOL

I managed it once, Peeling the stickers off helps  ;)

Microsoft Project 2010 is arguably the best project management application out there. Do the guys at Microsoft do anything by halves?

Dear AS/400 Geek, How do I install software on my PC:

Answer: Follow these simple steps:

1. Examine the software packaging until you find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system you need to run the software. It should look something like this:

SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
3.5 GHz Processor or Higher
Microsoft Windows Vista, Windows XP Professional or DOS 5.0
719.7 Terabytes of Free Disk Space
3,546 MB RAM
25,345 x 4,563 SVGA Display Adapter
with 256 MB Memory and True Color
Mouse, Trackball, Light Saber or other pointing device
CD-ROM, DVD-ROM, Blu-ray, Sting-ray, Gamma-ray or other ridiculously expensive media drive
Antilock Braking System
2 Turtle Doves
NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.

2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.

3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a CD-ROM or DVD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says: LICENSING AGREEMENT:

Since stepping forward into the light of smart phones, mobile computing and the world of Android – I’ve been gripped by quite a few ‘apps’ and recently, FourSquare is developing into a fun little addiction.

What is Foursquare?

It uses the location ability on your phone (GPS if you want pin point accuracy) to let you know whats around you – shops, pubs, houses, arenas, anything! You check-in to a location when you get there. So, when I go to work I ‘checking’ to the department at work. My Foursquare friends can see my last check-in. I can also tweet/Facebook these check-ins to share information about what I’m up to and attach photos or notes. It’s a great tool for investigating restaurants around you and seeing real users reviews and notes on what’s good or bad about these venues.

Where’s the fun part?

Read this today. It's cncise and aligned with my way of thinking:

Our IBM i community has one thing in common. We love the platform. However, we are a divided community, in that we don’t consistently treat the platform as the same thing. To some people, we are still working on the same wonderful AS/400 we had in 1988. For others, we have this amazing IBM i operating system running on the best business servers on the planet – Power Systems. And some of us think we are somewhere in between. We don’t all agree on what this platform is, how to use it in a modern way, or what we should call it. Yet we all love it?

Given that our platform has detractors who wish for it to go away, this disunity is a source of material for them. There are many who claim this platform is nothing but an old AS/400, out of date, and out of place. They work to migrate from this platform to a solution that is inferior, and in the long run costs far more to own. Yet, they manage to encourage people to move away from the platform with FUD about how they must modernize and upgrade. They push companies to move with claims that the user interface is old and outdated, and to modernize they must choose another platform.

IBM-I Change Management Application Review

Today's SCM systems are as much focused on productivity gains for the programmer as they are in "controlling" or managing the source and objects. Anything that can be done to make your programmers more effective and more efficient in their development process is a very worthy investment.

Software configuration management (SCM) is an umbrella term that has come to mean a wide range of automation functions for application development all SCM product features have potential benefits and other functions that may require changes to your business practice.

The Big Three

What follows is a listing of products that provide SCM functions for IBM-i application development.

In my opinion, the three big players are:

• Turnover V100 - SoftLanding Systems (acquired by Unicom in 2010)
• Aldon LMe- Aldon Computer Group (acquired by Rocket Software group in March 2011)
• Implementor -  MKS Inc (acquired by PTC in May 2011)

These vendors are the heavy hitters in the IBM-I arena and all have Eclipse user-interface plug-ins for their solutions, which can integrate with IBM's WDSC and RD-i.

A friend recently asked me what training it takes to work with the IBM AS/400. I gave a brief answer mentioning some college courses, some on-the-job training, and a long time in the school of hard knocks. But upon reflection, I realize that most of my training in the fundamental concepts of the AS/400 came from my mother.

When I was a baby, mother taught me about input buffering: “Don’t try to stuff all your food in your mouth at once. Leave it on your plate until you’re ready to eat it, and then take it in one mouthful at a time.”

She also taught me about processing the entire input buffer before going on to the next step: “Eat everything on your plate. Then you can have dessert.”

(It will occur to some readers that mother also taught me about output buffering, but I’d like to keep these meditations G-rated.)

When I was about 14, mother introduced the basic concept of CL (Control Language) programming in a note on the refrigerator door: “We’re going to have dinner at 6:00. You make it when you get home from school. The menu is pinned up on the bulletin board, the meat is in the refrigerator, and I’ve put the rest of the food out on the counter. Set an extra place - Uncle Jack is coming tonight.”

The IBMi I.F.S. (Integrated File System) is a terrific part of the operating system which lets us consolidate our native IBMi data and give access to it from other, different, file systems. It lets us access Native IBMi data from internal and external processes. The IFS is a repository for different types of data that native IBMi users or disparate network clients attached to the IBMI can access. In non-geek this means “it’s a way of using IBMi data like it’s on a windows PC”

Whats good about the IFS?

I love the IFS and it’s a sometimes under-utilized function of the AS400… wait… iSeries… erm.. System-i? Ahh that’s right… it’s the IBMi operating system running on an IBM Power Server. This week. *cough*

I'm still devestated over the death of Bailey and have been through a rollercoaster of emotions trying to decide wether to get another dog or not. But who can resist a puppy springer spaniel?

So, Bailey 2.0 has joined the family.

Bailey has morphed from a bouncy 6 year old female Springer to a rambunctious 6 week old Male Springer.

Let the training begin  :)

Over the last couple of weeks, Google has been quietly telling us that its GOOGLE BUZZ service is quietly going to die.

"Google Buzz is going away, but your posts are yours to keep" is what Gmail users have been seeing at the top of their accounts since mid-october. The BUZZ service has been controversial with many complaints about personal cyber-privacy - and of course people tracking. Oh those poor Drugs dealers using Android phones are now upset when there phones track when/where they are doing they're naughty trade. :)

Lets face it - Buzz never had a chance against TWITTER. Thats an internet fact.

I wish I could take credit for this article. It hits the nail on the head and the author (Daniel Gray) explains himself very clearly:

"So, I have my name as a domain (www.NickLitten.com) and I want to use as a link to a specific node on the nicklitten.com main site - namely my RESUME page at (www.nicklitten.com/nick.litten)...  I wonder how I can redirect a domain name to a specific page on my website?"

Sounds like a simple question but there are a million websites out there in super-web-highway land all waffling on about global redirects, PHP reroutes, meta-ding-dongs and very clever .htaccess files.

The problem is that all of them seem to be a rewrite of the same few paragraphs saying things like this:

Redirect Old domain to New domain (htaccess redirect)

Create a .htaccess file with the below code, it will ensure that all your directories and pages of your old domain will get correctly redirected to your new domain.  he .htaccess file needs to be placed in the root directory of your old website (i.e the same directory where your index file is placed)

Options +FollowSymLinks
RewriteEngine on
RewriteRule (.*) http://www.newdomain.com/$1 [R=301,L]

Bailey, my mischievous English Spring Spaniel, died on October 10th 2010 of a very sudden suspected blood clot/heart attack when chasing a tennis ball. She was only four years old. The Vet says its just one of the genetic things that can't be predicted. It's been heart breaking...

I got Bailey back in 2007 as a 8 month old pup - rescued from a previous owner who had got a dog for Christmas and then, six months later, realized that dogs need love, attention ,exercise and training... "A dog is for life not just for Christmas" as the old saying goes.  I rescued her and she became a companion and best friend and playmate for the kids. She was always a lively character (like all Springers) and developed an almost obsessive fascination with Tennis balls in her recent years. She emigrated from England with me in 2008 and spent the last 2 years running around various American Fields and Beaches chasing just about anything that would run from her. She was never the best trained dog, always a little head strong and needed a firm word from 'Papa' before finally towing the line.

Bailey had a lovely nature, was always great with any kids she met and will be sadly missed.

RIP my little friend.

So, this morning I decided to start researching my family name "Litten". Here I am at 44 years old, my only surviving senior 'Litten' family member is Old Uncle Buck who lives in Spain. He's never researched the genealogy of the LITTEN name and so far I've come up with two definitions:

This ENGLISH surname of LITTEN was a locational name meaning 'one who came from LITTON' parishes in counties Somerset and Dorset; also townships in counties Hereford and in the West Riding of Yorkshire, and there is a hamlet of the name in the parish of Tideswell, County Derbyshire.