Monthly Archives: May 2006

May 08

Health and Safety in the English Navy

Life

Imagine the scene. all those years ago, aboard HMS Victory:-

Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."

Hardy: "Aye, aye sir!"

Nelson: "Hold on, that’s not what I dictated to Flags. What’s the meaning of this?"

Hardy: "Sorry, sir?"

Nelson (reading aloud): ‘England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.’ What heathen gobbledegook is this?"

Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I’m afraid, sir. We’re an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil’s own job getting ‘England’ past the censors, lest it be considered racist."

Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

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