IT versus Management

Having worked in IT for decades this is absolutely spot on:

A man in a hot air balloon, realizing he is lost, reduces altitude and spots a hiker below. He descends further and shouts to the man on the ground "Ahoy there, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am"

The chap below looks up, grins and says "You're in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"Wow! You must be in IT," says the balloonist.

"Actually I am" replied the hiker "How did you guess that?"

"It's quite obvious really" answers the balloonist "everything you have told me is technically correct but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've been no help. If anything, you've delayed my trip!"

The chap below laughs and says "Ahh yes, you must be in Management."

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Life

Twenty years of Marriage

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring …

Life

quotes and he said she said gubbins

Note: The following are humorous (and sometimes serious) quotes gathered from the internet. Since it’s all a big rip-off, I am assuming no copyright whatsoever. I don’t even guarantee that they are accurate. Now that you’ve been warned, enjoy. I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. — Thomas Watson, Chairman of …

AS400, IBM i, iSeries

Dear Uncle AS400

Dear Uncle AS400, my disk space keeps creeping higher and higher, and I don’t mean up the stairs! Is there a simple way I can clean up my disk drives to reduce this amount of disk space being wasted by unnecessary ones and zeros? A: Yes, the system has a very simple command that will …

Life

Junk mail jokes – just occasionally one makes me chuckle

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

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AS400, IBM i, iSeries

My Mum taught me everything about the AS400

A friend recently asked me what training it takes to work with the IBM AS/400. I gave a brief answer mentioning some college courses, some on-the-job training and a long time in the school of hard knocks. But upon reflection, I realize that most of my training in the fundamental concepts of the AS/400 came …

Life

Health and Safety in the English Navy

Imagine the scene. all those years ago, aboard HMS Victory:-

Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."

Hardy: "Aye, aye sir!"

Nelson: "Hold on, that’s not what I dictated to Flags. What’s the meaning of this?"

Hardy: "Sorry, sir?"

Nelson (reading aloud): ‘England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.’ What heathen gobbledegook is this?"

Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I’m afraid, sir. We’re an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil’s own job getting ‘England’ past the censors, lest it be considered racist."

Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

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