My voicemail greeting

September 11, 2011

My voicemail greeting

By NickLitten

September 11, 2011

voice, voicemail

So, I’ve recently been getting a lot of junk voicemails and in an effort to inconvenience these callers as much as it inconveniences me. It’s time for a long winded and time consuming voice mail greeting. I extended the BEEEP at the end so that it keep on going for the full two minutes before they can leave a message.


Hello, you’ve reached my voicemail.

I tend not to use voicemail much anymore, who does? If you really want to get hold of me your best bet would be drop me a quick text message or email. But, if you are one of the many annoying telesales, marketing or spambots that like to leave me messages – perhaps this will help answer any questions:

No, I dont want any new credits cards.

No, I am not interested in getting paid for reviewing hotels.

No, I do not want to go on a cruise.

No, I don’t care if I have won a free prize.

No, I am not “Amy” the woman you are looking for who has some unpaid bills.

No, I don’t want a new car (well actually I do, but not from you).

So, given these circumstances and for my general health and sanity, I’ve installed a new voicemail app that screens messages, deleting any that might cause additional stress to my already abundantly busy lifestyle. If I don’t return your call, you can assume that your message was determined to cause undue stress. Please take comfort in the fact that my health and sanity are being effectively preserved. Press the end button or leave a message after the beep.


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