The End of the World on May 21 – full page ad in USA Today 

 May 18, 2011

By  NickLitten

The End of the World is coming because… GOD

According to Pastor Harold Camping, the Churches *cough* Religious Loon Leader the world is going to end on Saturday, with a ‘World Wide Earthquake’. I guess this is the Lords version of Rocky Horrors ‘It’s just a jump to the left. And then a step to the right….’

end of world

This church has invested over $240,000 on this full color ad in USA TODAY, they’re obviously very serious. The Leader of this religious movement, Harry Camping, is an old boy that owns a network of radio stations he calls “Family Radio”. He used to belong to a traditional church, but after deciding that organized churches are corrupt and only focused on making money and the occasional crazy prediction he decided to start his own. It’s worked out well for him so far…. I wonder how many Church donations were used to pay for these ‘End of Days’ bill boards and newspaper ads?

Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions – that’s at the very core of my personal beliefs. But, as a non-believer I will probably not be included in the rapture moment – I dont expect to be vanished, or sucked up to heaven, to sit at a Deity’s feet and/or float around on a cloud wearing a white dress and playing a harp.

But wait, I’m sure you have others that will be left behind so here are some ways that I may be able to help:

  • If you’re a Porsche or Aston Martin owner, I will gladly look after your car while you’re gone.
  • You don’t want any bank fee’s ramping up so email me your online banking details and I will take care of it.

Once you’ve sent the bank details I will throw in some other free and very Christian services like:

  • Feed and Water your Pets and House Plants on a daily basis
  • Save you the inconvenience of selling your house/boat/jewelry and I will do it for you
  • I can write a letter to your loved ones that didn’t quite make it upstairs – explaining where you’ve gone
  • I can even update your Facebook status to ‘Raptured!’

I don’t believe in any of the Gods, Santa or the Tooth Fairy.

But you have a right to believe in whatever you wish as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else. So, let’s hope this campaign doesn’t lead to a rash of pre-Armageddon suicides or any such nonsense. Then again, maybe that’s just Nature’s way of culling the weak minded.

I read a Bible quote on another website which said:

“If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit.”
(Mathew 15:14)

If you’re a Camping follower, open your eyes, cause you’re headed for a pit.

“You too, be ready; for the Son of Man is coming at an hour that you do not expect.”
(Luke 12:40)

This says that the End of Days will come when nobody expects it. This Newpaper advert saying its coming on Saturday means that some people DO expect it. Therefore it cant happen.

Wait… my head hurts….



IBM i Software Developer, Digital Dad, AS400 Anarchist, RPG Modernizer, Shameless Trekkie, Belligerent Nerd, Englishman Abroad and Passionate Eater of Cheese and Biscuits. Nick Litten Dot Com is a mixture of blog posts that can be sometimes serious, frequently playful and probably down-right pointless all in the space of a day. Enjoy your stay, feel free to comment and remember: If at first you don't succeed then skydiving probably isn't a hobby you should look into.

Nick Litten

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